i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Success! We fucked roommates!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
