first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize