You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
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I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize