Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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