I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
