So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
