No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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