i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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