I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i think my cat just said my name.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
