I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
