This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
