If i come over, it means nothing
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
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Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
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Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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