Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Randomize
