What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
