Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
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I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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