would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Randomize
