bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
