please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
