he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I am one with the molecules
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
