im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
