He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
