i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
