Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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