who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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