Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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