She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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