I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We named our party play list daddy issues
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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