So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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