We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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