I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
And then he peed in my hair
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