People with herpes should wear stickers.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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