these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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