I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
