dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
