I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dignity is for republicans.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Randomize
