I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
my liver is dry heaving
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
