quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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