i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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