The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
