im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
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her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
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Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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