This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
