someone get that fucking seahorse.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
