About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
