I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
