Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i would punch a child for taco bell
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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