it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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