I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
