very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
