I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just had sex bonerless
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
