Im at strip club and am horny
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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