I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
