if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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