Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
