dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
