In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
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I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
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When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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