I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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