Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
