I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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