I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
