he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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