So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
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I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
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We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
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