we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
