So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize