so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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