Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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